The Emptiness

Well, i bet you guys have the same feeling with me sometimes.. but you all just hide it somewhere deep in ya heart..

Err... after i've been working here for like about 4months, finally i get to know more and more friends here at my company. And the best part is that, i found myself 2 buddies here.

You know, It is pretty sad that when i just reached Singapore, and i got no friends here for like 4months. Can you imagine it -.- been alone for like 4months straight... ( Although i got some relatives here in Singapore, But the contents of the conversation is just different when i am chating with my friends and when i am chating with my relatives.

"Hello, aunty, Hello Uncle, Long time no see.. how are you guys been doing recently~? Have you eaten yet? Wanna have dinner together tonight?"
------That's me in front of my family, or my relatives.--------

"Shut up dude, look at that hot chick, OW man! She was starring at me.. think she had a crush on me.. hahaha! ( With some vulgar inside sometimes)
------That's me in front of my buddies.-------

Note that, i don't consider all my friends are my BUDDY.
Well, i might behave like the same person in front of my friend as the one in front of my relatives, but i will never be a good boy in front of my buddies. ( Doesn't means that i AM A BAD BOY.. i am very kind hearted 1 okay... just a lilttle bad boy style only... can't blame me.. BOYS~ )

Hmm, Buddy and Friend just sounds different for me, maybe not for you, but for me. There is just different... What is it? Well, i don't know how to explain it to you.. lol... it is.. just.. ME.. -.-

What else can i say?





I LOVE MY BUDDIES~! i like my friends.

So you see the different now? lol


Well, i just don know why, everyone around me, especially some of my close friend, seems to be leaving me. As an example, One of my "bestest" friend, i knew him since primary school untill now, and he left me last year, he went to New Zealand for his study. I know i can't blame him for leaving me, since this is not his fault after all. The second Example, i get to know another friendly person last year, and we became the best gang in our class in like not more than 4months. And now... he is in Taiwan.. once again, study matter. Yea, he left me. Last year, i lost another good friend., due to some girl's matter, and he quarreled with me... And i was like.. " What the hell, bro... we were friend since we were 12, and now you are talking to me like that? For a girl?"
That pissed me off seriously, and so.. out friendship ended last year, thanks to the "pretty girl". And for your concern, =) the girl is not pretty at all... NOT AT ALL.. trust me.. you will never want to have a look at her...

And you see, one of my buddy is going to leave and move out of Singapore next year. When i heard what he said...

WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT....

This is what came up to my mind, and of course, i didn't shout that line at him. Was so sad to hear that...

Few days later, another of my buddy told me that he is TOO leaving Singapore next year. And again..

WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT...!!

Once again, i didn't shout these at him.
And i know the 2 of them were really good buddy, and one of them introduced me to another guy among the 2 of them. And so we became a very good trio. And i don't know how am i going to accept the day when the 2 of them leave.


=( I can't ask them to stay in Singapore with me forever, I knew anyone of us is going to leave each other one day, sooner or later. I don't think leaving is what they wanted, Guess it's their family matter.

Whenever i think of all my friends, they are all just seems to be leaving me ... all of them.. i dont get it.. why am i the one who always left behind for the emptiness and the loneliness.
I had enough of the feeling, and i hate that feeling, when i think of someone, and when i wanted to talk to someone, there isn't anyone who i can talk to.
The sadest thing is that, the 2 of my buddies are going to leave me too....

Thats all for today i guess... Shall end my blog for today here =)